he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
