if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
