I didn't shave. On purpose
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
