So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
vagina is talking i cant
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
