new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
is that a dick in a sweater?
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
