he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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