So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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