Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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