You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
