I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I look better un-naked...
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
So much rum. So many feels.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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