i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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