She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
