i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
