i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
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