Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
