do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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