Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
