Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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