What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
this beer tastes like vomit already
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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