I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
