she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I wish I only lived at night.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
