you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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