he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
