She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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