Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Dear god my vagina.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
