we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
