omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
