it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
