I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Gay?
German.
Pity.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
