The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
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