she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Randomize
