I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
