Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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