Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Randomize
