i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
