YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
