she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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