I skipped work to stalk him.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
my nose is crying tears of wow.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
