I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
