He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
