dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
