dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
it's like iHOP with fire
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
