Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
