so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
sex in a hospital.. check
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
