Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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