New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Randomize
