At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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