did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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