Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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