How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
